http://www.loosechat.net/forums/ Thu, 09 Sep 2010 01:34:37 -0600 MyBB http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13200 Mon, 06 Sep 2010 13:45:26 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13200
http://www.groupharrington.com/en/page/1...-cars.html]]>
http://www.groupharrington.com/en/page/1...-cars.html]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13199 Mon, 06 Sep 2010 02:48:35 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13199 http://www.carlashes.com/]]> http://www.carlashes.com/]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13198 Sun, 05 Sep 2010 10:10:45 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13198 Freddie Mercury would have been 64 today, I can just imagine him as a rockin' oap Only the good die young....................]]> Freddie Mercury would have been 64 today, I can just imagine him as a rockin' oap Only the good die young....................]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13197 Fri, 03 Sep 2010 08:01:11 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13197
He is a little low in folic acid and will get a supplement of that too.

So... fingers crossed this works and my little man is on the mend in a few weeks. If not, steroids to shift the inflamation which is similar to a bee sting, imagine having that pain all over your mouth, throat and in your small intestine. Poor thing must be in bloody agony!!

Will update again when I am not in a total rush!

so so so pleased!]]>
He is a little low in folic acid and will get a supplement of that too.

So... fingers crossed this works and my little man is on the mend in a few weeks. If not, steroids to shift the inflamation which is similar to a bee sting, imagine having that pain all over your mouth, throat and in your small intestine. Poor thing must be in bloody agony!!

Will update again when I am not in a total rush!

so so so pleased!]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13196 Wed, 01 Sep 2010 13:06:38 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13196 An Irishman is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his wife. He immediately dials 999.
Irishman: ''It's my fooken wife! Oi've accidentally shot 'er, I think oi've fooken killed 'er!''
Operator: ''Please calm down Sir. Can you first make sure she is actually dead!''


*click* ... *BANG*

Irishman: ''Okay, oi've done that. Wot next?'']]> An Irishman is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his wife. He immediately dials 999.
Irishman: ''It's my fooken wife! Oi've accidentally shot 'er, I think oi've fooken killed 'er!''
Operator: ''Please calm down Sir. Can you first make sure she is actually dead!''


*click* ... *BANG*

Irishman: ''Okay, oi've done that. Wot next?'']]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13195 Tue, 31 Aug 2010 07:05:22 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13195 I know it's been a while so heres a quick update on whats been going on.

First of all think we are all gettin over the shock and upset of losing Dad Mum seems to have coped with it better then we expected and Gary and me have remained closer then we have been for years.

Michelle has moving into her new home and seem to have settled very well, found out that he did have another woman as Michelle moved out on the thursday he had a fucking polish girl there that week-end, Michelle told him in her own colourfull way what she trhought of him and have to admit the couple of times i have seen him he looks very rough.

Do you remember us taking Steven to manchester to see a gentic specialist well we recieved a letter telling us the his test for fragile X syndrome came back clear so Michelle future children will be ok (huge relief) they did a cromosome(sp) test on him and that has shown a cromesome difference that they think is the cause of his problems so we have another appointment on the 20th September to talk to the specialist about it.
So after 30 years we have at last got an answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And finally we have just got back from a great week in Bonnie Scotland.
Sorry it's been long winded ]]> I know it's been a while so heres a quick update on whats been going on.

First of all think we are all gettin over the shock and upset of losing Dad Mum seems to have coped with it better then we expected and Gary and me have remained closer then we have been for years.

Michelle has moving into her new home and seem to have settled very well, found out that he did have another woman as Michelle moved out on the thursday he had a fucking polish girl there that week-end, Michelle told him in her own colourfull way what she trhought of him and have to admit the couple of times i have seen him he looks very rough.

Do you remember us taking Steven to manchester to see a gentic specialist well we recieved a letter telling us the his test for fragile X syndrome came back clear so Michelle future children will be ok (huge relief) they did a cromosome(sp) test on him and that has shown a cromesome difference that they think is the cause of his problems so we have another appointment on the 20th September to talk to the specialist about it.
So after 30 years we have at last got an answer!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And finally we have just got back from a great week in Bonnie Scotland.
Sorry it's been long winded ]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13194 Fri, 27 Aug 2010 07:07:29 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13194 So, just before our holidays (which must have been about 10 years ago ) I had Birthday money and thought I would treat myself to a french manicure for the hols. Well, the little Chinese lady had other ideas and talked me into having acrylic white tipped ones. As she was doing them, she said not to pull or bite them off, but to go back and have them taken off properly.
I actually didn't like them. After having nice enough nails myself, they seemed very thick and you couldn't even pick your teeth with them
So when we returned I went and had them taken off. Hands dipped into solution gawd knows how many times and then a little dremmil drilly type thing to get the acrylic off.
Well, what a mess my nails are now!! She obviously took too much off as now as my nails are growing, the nailbed is higher than the old nails that are growing out. The nails themselves are like paper and are split and broken. They are almost halfway grown out now, so in another couple of months they should be completely grown out and I can start from scratch. I am so cross I had these done, they were bloody expensive too cos I was 5 minutes late getting back to my car and got a bloody parking ticket! ]]> So, just before our holidays (which must have been about 10 years ago ) I had Birthday money and thought I would treat myself to a french manicure for the hols. Well, the little Chinese lady had other ideas and talked me into having acrylic white tipped ones. As she was doing them, she said not to pull or bite them off, but to go back and have them taken off properly.
I actually didn't like them. After having nice enough nails myself, they seemed very thick and you couldn't even pick your teeth with them
So when we returned I went and had them taken off. Hands dipped into solution gawd knows how many times and then a little dremmil drilly type thing to get the acrylic off.
Well, what a mess my nails are now!! She obviously took too much off as now as my nails are growing, the nailbed is higher than the old nails that are growing out. The nails themselves are like paper and are split and broken. They are almost halfway grown out now, so in another couple of months they should be completely grown out and I can start from scratch. I am so cross I had these done, they were bloody expensive too cos I was 5 minutes late getting back to my car and got a bloody parking ticket! ]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13193 Thu, 26 Aug 2010 11:10:10 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13193 Not for your cat/dog/hamster but for your other half Do you have a pet name that hmt uses? Do you wish he didn't? After reading Cosmo today I logged onto this site for a laugh and entered magiq's real name.......and it gave me "naughty loveling"
I then thought I'd better enter my name in the interest of fair play.....and it came up with "stinky crush" pfft

http://www.quizmeme.com/petname/quiz.php]]> Not for your cat/dog/hamster but for your other half Do you have a pet name that hmt uses? Do you wish he didn't? After reading Cosmo today I logged onto this site for a laugh and entered magiq's real name.......and it gave me "naughty loveling"
I then thought I'd better enter my name in the interest of fair play.....and it came up with "stinky crush" pfft

http://www.quizmeme.com/petname/quiz.php]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13192 Wed, 25 Aug 2010 15:49:52 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13192 1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding a stupid person that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.

9. Karmageddon (n): it's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating ]]> 1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding a stupid person that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.

9. Karmageddon (n): it's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating ]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13191 Wed, 25 Aug 2010 15:37:32 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13191 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you have to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings".

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

4. People who want to share their religious veiws with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens... somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

8. When trouble arises & things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution & is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

10. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

11. Never lick a steak knife.

12. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

13. "The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

15. Your REAL friends still love you anyway.]]> 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you have to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings".

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

4. People who want to share their religious veiws with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens... somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

8. When trouble arises & things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution & is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

10. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

11. Never lick a steak knife.

12. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

13. "The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

15. Your REAL friends still love you anyway.]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13190 Wed, 25 Aug 2010 14:05:49 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13190 a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking
for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a R5,000 ring and
showed it to him. The old man said, 'I don't think you understand, I
want something very special.'

At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only R40,000,' the
jeweller said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with
excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'

The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by
cheque. 'I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write
it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll
pick the
ring up Monday afternoon,' he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweller phoned the old man. 'There's
No money in that account.'

'I know', said the old man, 'but can you imagine the weekend I had?'
Thanks!! !]]> a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking
for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a R5,000 ring and
showed it to him. The old man said, 'I don't think you understand, I
want something very special.'

At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only R40,000,' the
jeweller said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with
excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'

The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by
cheque. 'I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write
it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll
pick the
ring up Monday afternoon,' he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweller phoned the old man. 'There's
No money in that account.'

'I know', said the old man, 'but can you imagine the weekend I had?'
Thanks!! !]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13189 Mon, 23 Aug 2010 13:42:32 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13189 Marvin had always wanted to be a gunfighter. He grew up in the old West. As a child he read everything about gunfighters he could find. His hero was Billy the Kidd. He dreamed of being just like his hero. One day he went to town and bought himself a black hat, some black clothes, a black horse and two pistols. He went home and every day he went out behind his barn, and practiced shooting.

After two weeks he was getting to be quite a good shot. He decided it was time to show off. He put on his black clothes and hat, strapped on his guns and rode into town. When he walked into the saloon, standing at the bar he saw Billy the Kidd. He was so excited! He walked up and said, "Mr. Kidd, I am your biggest fan. I have always wanted to be just like you. Look at me. Do I look like a gunfighter?"

Billy looked him over and said, "Well, you have the right clothes and you have a nice black hat, and I see you rode up on a black horse. But, can you shoot?"

Marvin looked around the room and said, "See that piano player over there?" He drew his pistol and fired, shooting the cufflink off the piano player's shirt.

Billy said, "Not bad. Can you shoot with your left hand? A gunfighter's got to be able to shoot with both hands."

Marvin drew his other pistol and fired, shooting off the piano player's other cufflink. Billy said, "That's mighty fine shooting. I just have one piece of advice for you."

Marvin was bubbling with excitement, "What is it? What else should I do?"

Billy spoke slowly, "Well, go back into the kitchen there and get a big tub of lard. Take both of your pistols and rub them around in the lard, get them good and slick."

Marvin was puzzled. He asked, "Why is that important? What good will rubbing my pistols in lard do?"

Billy replied, "It won't help your shooting at all, but when Wyatt Earp finishes playing the piano over there he's going to shove both of your pistols up your ass."]]> Marvin had always wanted to be a gunfighter. He grew up in the old West. As a child he read everything about gunfighters he could find. His hero was Billy the Kidd. He dreamed of being just like his hero. One day he went to town and bought himself a black hat, some black clothes, a black horse and two pistols. He went home and every day he went out behind his barn, and practiced shooting.

After two weeks he was getting to be quite a good shot. He decided it was time to show off. He put on his black clothes and hat, strapped on his guns and rode into town. When he walked into the saloon, standing at the bar he saw Billy the Kidd. He was so excited! He walked up and said, "Mr. Kidd, I am your biggest fan. I have always wanted to be just like you. Look at me. Do I look like a gunfighter?"

Billy looked him over and said, "Well, you have the right clothes and you have a nice black hat, and I see you rode up on a black horse. But, can you shoot?"

Marvin looked around the room and said, "See that piano player over there?" He drew his pistol and fired, shooting the cufflink off the piano player's shirt.

Billy said, "Not bad. Can you shoot with your left hand? A gunfighter's got to be able to shoot with both hands."

Marvin drew his other pistol and fired, shooting off the piano player's other cufflink. Billy said, "That's mighty fine shooting. I just have one piece of advice for you."

Marvin was bubbling with excitement, "What is it? What else should I do?"

Billy spoke slowly, "Well, go back into the kitchen there and get a big tub of lard. Take both of your pistols and rub them around in the lard, get them good and slick."

Marvin was puzzled. He asked, "Why is that important? What good will rubbing my pistols in lard do?"

Billy replied, "It won't help your shooting at all, but when Wyatt Earp finishes playing the piano over there he's going to shove both of your pistols up your ass."]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13187 Fri, 06 Aug 2010 15:07:11 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13187
If you think you've saved enough benefit from your 4 children before your 20, this could be the answer to your prayers.

A proper bastardised, chaved up Skippy mobile if ever there was. Enhance your street cred at the local drive thru burger joint or council estate shop front no end with this utterly tacky converted little Renault Clio. Not your Gran's idea of a lift to town, granted, but a fantastic opportunity to increase 3 fold your class A drug selling ability. This is the car you need boys. The punters will flock to the window for your home grown skunk and other illegal substances. you just ain't gonna look out of place in this little beauty! Now I've made sure the tax ran out last November, so there is a big pat on your scrawny little backs already.

Dig out yer favourite unwashed "Umbro" hoodie and come cast your shifty little eyes on this. Ideal for the "Street Pharmacist" and other suitably attired twats. Your gonna need a baseball cap with this beauty, ideally one that comes with no fitting instructions. Heaven forbid you should put it on the right way. What better way to compliment your stolen Nike Air Max trainers than to be seen dangling a foot outta this pocket rocket.
Worried about the Babylon spotting ya, no need. Car comes fully equipped with proper blacked out gangster glass on the side windows. Hell, you could even fill the back up with yer ugly chav kids and knowone'd see 'em. doesn't get much better boys. Ah, but it does. It does. To show your complete and utter lack of taste and knowledge of the motor car you'll also find the ridiculous rock hard lowered suspension to your taste as well. Why not get a step closer to Gran's inheritance by offering her a lift in ya new "wheels" then taking her down the post Office flat out over the speed humps round your estate and hopefully knocking the spine out of her? Might need 2 laps but god damn them single teenage mums smoking Marlboro Lights outside the chippy will be impressed fella's. You know that they like a ride like this. Turn up the Alpine Head Unit, stick in your favourite and incomprehensible "Drum & Bass" Cd and the throbbing out the 6x9 parcel shelf will have them pregnant in no time.

To complete the proper drug dealer look, a tasteless stripe has been fitted from the front to the rear. Finished in "Air Max" white it really doesn't complement the car in any shape or form. Rather like you and your Brethren spitting on the floor constantly. Completely needless but you think it makes a statement about you. You'll also enjoy the totally pointless but ridiculously noisy after market air filter. About as helpful as a fart in an astronaut suit, but hell, you didn't get where you are today by being helpful, did you?
I'm quite sad to see the thing go really. There is nothing more pleasurable to me at 41 than to drive round in this bit of shit and look a complete prick. I'd much rather hand the opportunity to you work shy crack head council tenants any day. This little set of wheels is gonna let the other hoodies know you've made it. cocaine and skunk selling is never gonna get any easier for the lucky buyer of this car. I might have a deal on a couple of gram's of smack or coke, but ideally I'd need to get a serious drug habit before hand. Perhaps someone could help? You can pay in cash or wraps, I'm easy really. Bring along your mums credit card or one that your mate has cloned down the petrol station. If it is going to be hard cash, please ensure it is discretely hidden in a used Tesco carrier bag, and you have folded one £20 note around 4 others. Makes counting so much easier.

For any female buyer I'm offering a free Tatoo of something utterly meaninless to go in the middle of your lower back. If you haven't already got your "Tramp Stamp" that is.

If your an under-age drink driver, or under-age driver for that matter, this little beauty really isn't going to attract the attention of the local constabulary at all. you'll drift pass any patrol car effortlessly. Make sure there is at least 6 of you in the car though, Splif in hand. If your driving, have another swig from your 2 litre plastic "LIDL" brand cider as you nonchalantly flip the bird to the passing police patrol. Head off for the nearest estate for some tyre screeching fun. They ain't never gonna take you alive in this.

The car does like a good rev in the morning at any unsocial hour. Neighbours will love it and feel proud to live in the same road. don't forget to rev the pants off of it at all junctions and roundabouts as well. This really will increase the length of your manhood no end. your virginity is gonna be a thing of the past when the babes see you in this "fanny magnet". You can almost bet your last eighth of puff your gonna get laid. Hell, might even get a few STD's as well. your gonna get a proper bird with this motor.

For the disqualified driver I'll even offer to recover it from outside the local Magistrates or police station. What better way to impress the local Judicial system in one final act of defiance before collecting your ASBO?

Don't let the frivolous matter of actually holding a current, valid drivers licence and insurance put you off this bargain. A visit to your local crack house should procure some documentation from as little as fifty quid.

Nuff said, innit.]]>
If you think you've saved enough benefit from your 4 children before your 20, this could be the answer to your prayers.

A proper bastardised, chaved up Skippy mobile if ever there was. Enhance your street cred at the local drive thru burger joint or council estate shop front no end with this utterly tacky converted little Renault Clio. Not your Gran's idea of a lift to town, granted, but a fantastic opportunity to increase 3 fold your class A drug selling ability. This is the car you need boys. The punters will flock to the window for your home grown skunk and other illegal substances. you just ain't gonna look out of place in this little beauty! Now I've made sure the tax ran out last November, so there is a big pat on your scrawny little backs already.

Dig out yer favourite unwashed "Umbro" hoodie and come cast your shifty little eyes on this. Ideal for the "Street Pharmacist" and other suitably attired twats. Your gonna need a baseball cap with this beauty, ideally one that comes with no fitting instructions. Heaven forbid you should put it on the right way. What better way to compliment your stolen Nike Air Max trainers than to be seen dangling a foot outta this pocket rocket.
Worried about the Babylon spotting ya, no need. Car comes fully equipped with proper blacked out gangster glass on the side windows. Hell, you could even fill the back up with yer ugly chav kids and knowone'd see 'em. doesn't get much better boys. Ah, but it does. It does. To show your complete and utter lack of taste and knowledge of the motor car you'll also find the ridiculous rock hard lowered suspension to your taste as well. Why not get a step closer to Gran's inheritance by offering her a lift in ya new "wheels" then taking her down the post Office flat out over the speed humps round your estate and hopefully knocking the spine out of her? Might need 2 laps but god damn them single teenage mums smoking Marlboro Lights outside the chippy will be impressed fella's. You know that they like a ride like this. Turn up the Alpine Head Unit, stick in your favourite and incomprehensible "Drum & Bass" Cd and the throbbing out the 6x9 parcel shelf will have them pregnant in no time.

To complete the proper drug dealer look, a tasteless stripe has been fitted from the front to the rear. Finished in "Air Max" white it really doesn't complement the car in any shape or form. Rather like you and your Brethren spitting on the floor constantly. Completely needless but you think it makes a statement about you. You'll also enjoy the totally pointless but ridiculously noisy after market air filter. About as helpful as a fart in an astronaut suit, but hell, you didn't get where you are today by being helpful, did you?
I'm quite sad to see the thing go really. There is nothing more pleasurable to me at 41 than to drive round in this bit of shit and look a complete prick. I'd much rather hand the opportunity to you work shy crack head council tenants any day. This little set of wheels is gonna let the other hoodies know you've made it. cocaine and skunk selling is never gonna get any easier for the lucky buyer of this car. I might have a deal on a couple of gram's of smack or coke, but ideally I'd need to get a serious drug habit before hand. Perhaps someone could help? You can pay in cash or wraps, I'm easy really. Bring along your mums credit card or one that your mate has cloned down the petrol station. If it is going to be hard cash, please ensure it is discretely hidden in a used Tesco carrier bag, and you have folded one £20 note around 4 others. Makes counting so much easier.

For any female buyer I'm offering a free Tatoo of something utterly meaninless to go in the middle of your lower back. If you haven't already got your "Tramp Stamp" that is.

If your an under-age drink driver, or under-age driver for that matter, this little beauty really isn't going to attract the attention of the local constabulary at all. you'll drift pass any patrol car effortlessly. Make sure there is at least 6 of you in the car though, Splif in hand. If your driving, have another swig from your 2 litre plastic "LIDL" brand cider as you nonchalantly flip the bird to the passing police patrol. Head off for the nearest estate for some tyre screeching fun. They ain't never gonna take you alive in this.

The car does like a good rev in the morning at any unsocial hour. Neighbours will love it and feel proud to live in the same road. don't forget to rev the pants off of it at all junctions and roundabouts as well. This really will increase the length of your manhood no end. your virginity is gonna be a thing of the past when the babes see you in this "fanny magnet". You can almost bet your last eighth of puff your gonna get laid. Hell, might even get a few STD's as well. your gonna get a proper bird with this motor.

For the disqualified driver I'll even offer to recover it from outside the local Magistrates or police station. What better way to impress the local Judicial system in one final act of defiance before collecting your ASBO?

Don't let the frivolous matter of actually holding a current, valid drivers licence and insurance put you off this bargain. A visit to your local crack house should procure some documentation from as little as fifty quid.

Nuff said, innit.]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13185 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 17:55:15 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13185 Wishing you both all the best Hope you both have a fabulous time on your special day! ]]> Wishing you both all the best Hope you both have a fabulous time on your special day! ]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13183 Fri, 23 Jul 2010 14:12:23 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13183 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13182 Mon, 19 Jul 2010 12:57:05 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13182
Ok so here we go.

For this year, I've been adventuring further and further with Summer, mainly on the heath without other folks. I think I can say I've mastered that with the odd blip here and there.

The past couple of mondays', i've decided that it would be a good idea for me to try getting good at doing things that involved other people (I'll wait while the snickering dies down) so I went to quiz night at the local gay pub! Did that the week before last and then last week, I tried to push myself a bit further and while I was there, I ordered some food -nothing exciting, a foot long hotdog - turns out, I'm not ready to be eating while out in the company of strangers but i did manage to scoff most of it before I got in but saved some for Summer.

This week, the idiot is on his hols so I'm feeling really chilled and relaxed. However, being the person he is, he didn't bother to go and get the basics of shopping before he went - dog food, cat food etc and since I only had enough cat food to last for today and enough dog food to get us til thursday, I figured something needed to be done.
Hazey had said she wanted to go to Morrisons to get some bits that she couldn't get in tescos and was gonna go this week (are you see where its going yet, can I please stop typing, I'm exhausted!)

Anyhoo, we decided that we should go to morrisons together as I needed bits and pieces and given that its been at least a decade since I really set foot in a supermarket, it'd be good for me.
So off we toodled and to be honest, getting out of the car was the best bit, it was soooooooooooooo hot in there. So yeah, I went and did my own shopping!!!! I had a wobble in the deodorant aisle, dunno what I was doing in there anyway, don't need any deodorant!
I managed to get everything on the list although not my prefered items as they didn't have them, but near as dammit to them and I did it all without falling down or losing the plot.

The only side effect of managing to hold it all together is that now I'm totally exhausted, feel like I've run a marathon and done 8 hours of exams. all in the same day. I'm not this tired when I've been out with the puplet walking for miles and miles. Oh well..... another step for Spelly kind, just gotta get good enough at that to go to osterley tesco, then I can get everything and more!

So woohoo me...... please excuse me while I die a little. ]]>
Ok so here we go.

For this year, I've been adventuring further and further with Summer, mainly on the heath without other folks. I think I can say I've mastered that with the odd blip here and there.

The past couple of mondays', i've decided that it would be a good idea for me to try getting good at doing things that involved other people (I'll wait while the snickering dies down) so I went to quiz night at the local gay pub! Did that the week before last and then last week, I tried to push myself a bit further and while I was there, I ordered some food -nothing exciting, a foot long hotdog - turns out, I'm not ready to be eating while out in the company of strangers but i did manage to scoff most of it before I got in but saved some for Summer.

This week, the idiot is on his hols so I'm feeling really chilled and relaxed. However, being the person he is, he didn't bother to go and get the basics of shopping before he went - dog food, cat food etc and since I only had enough cat food to last for today and enough dog food to get us til thursday, I figured something needed to be done.
Hazey had said she wanted to go to Morrisons to get some bits that she couldn't get in tescos and was gonna go this week (are you see where its going yet, can I please stop typing, I'm exhausted!)

Anyhoo, we decided that we should go to morrisons together as I needed bits and pieces and given that its been at least a decade since I really set foot in a supermarket, it'd be good for me.
So off we toodled and to be honest, getting out of the car was the best bit, it was soooooooooooooo hot in there. So yeah, I went and did my own shopping!!!! I had a wobble in the deodorant aisle, dunno what I was doing in there anyway, don't need any deodorant!
I managed to get everything on the list although not my prefered items as they didn't have them, but near as dammit to them and I did it all without falling down or losing the plot.

The only side effect of managing to hold it all together is that now I'm totally exhausted, feel like I've run a marathon and done 8 hours of exams. all in the same day. I'm not this tired when I've been out with the puplet walking for miles and miles. Oh well..... another step for Spelly kind, just gotta get good enough at that to go to osterley tesco, then I can get everything and more!

So woohoo me...... please excuse me while I die a little. ]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13181 Sun, 18 Jul 2010 12:18:46 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13181 See if this one works better........fingers crossed people
Good evening all. It's been lovely down here weatherwise. Did some gardening while magiq washed my courtesy car, it got covered in seagull poop We popped down to the seafront in the afternoon, the fair's there at the moment but I didn't fancy any of the stomach turners]]> See if this one works better........fingers crossed people
Good evening all. It's been lovely down here weatherwise. Did some gardening while magiq washed my courtesy car, it got covered in seagull poop We popped down to the seafront in the afternoon, the fair's there at the moment but I didn't fancy any of the stomach turners]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13180 Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:49:48 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13180
I received a call from a 'representative' of BT, informing me that he was disconnecting me because of an unpaid bill. He demanded payment immediately of £31.00, or it would be £118.00 to re-connect at a later date.

The guy wasn't even fazed when I told him I was with Virgin Media, allegedly VM have to pay BT a percentage for line rental!

I asked the guy's name - the very 'English' John Peacock with a very 'African' accent - & phone number - 0800 0800 152 0800 0800 152 .

Obviously the fella realized I wasn't believing his story, so offered to demonstrate that he was from BT. I asked how & he told me to hang up & try phoning someone - he would disconnect my phone to prevent this.

AND HE DID!!
My phone was dead - no engaged tone, nothing - until he phoned me again.

Very pleased with himself, he asked if that was enough proof that he was with BT. I asked how the payment was to be made & he said credit card, there & then.

I said that I didn't know how he'd done it, but I had absolutely no intention of paying him, I didn't believe his name or that he worked for BT.

He hung up.

Did 1471 & phoned his fictitious 0800 number – not recognised.

I phoned the police to let them know, I wasn't the first! It's only just started apparently but it is escalating.

Their advice was to let as many people know by word of mouth of this scam. The fact that the phone does go off would probably convince some people it's real, so please let as many friends & family aware of this.

This is good but not that clever. He gave the wrong number - it should have been 0800 800152 0800 800152 which takes you through to BT Business. The cutting off of the line is very simple , he stays on the line with the mute button on and you can't dial out - but he can hear you trying. (This is because the person who initiates a call is the one to terminate it). When you stop trying he cuts off and immediately calls back. You could almost be convinced! The sad thing is that it is so simple that it will certainly fool the elderly and vulnerable. Obviously, if this scam is real, once they have your credit/debit card details, there is nothing to stop them cleaning out your account.]]>
I received a call from a 'representative' of BT, informing me that he was disconnecting me because of an unpaid bill. He demanded payment immediately of £31.00, or it would be £118.00 to re-connect at a later date.

The guy wasn't even fazed when I told him I was with Virgin Media, allegedly VM have to pay BT a percentage for line rental!

I asked the guy's name - the very 'English' John Peacock with a very 'African' accent - & phone number - 0800 0800 152 0800 0800 152 .

Obviously the fella realized I wasn't believing his story, so offered to demonstrate that he was from BT. I asked how & he told me to hang up & try phoning someone - he would disconnect my phone to prevent this.

AND HE DID!!
My phone was dead - no engaged tone, nothing - until he phoned me again.

Very pleased with himself, he asked if that was enough proof that he was with BT. I asked how the payment was to be made & he said credit card, there & then.

I said that I didn't know how he'd done it, but I had absolutely no intention of paying him, I didn't believe his name or that he worked for BT.

He hung up.

Did 1471 & phoned his fictitious 0800 number – not recognised.

I phoned the police to let them know, I wasn't the first! It's only just started apparently but it is escalating.

Their advice was to let as many people know by word of mouth of this scam. The fact that the phone does go off would probably convince some people it's real, so please let as many friends & family aware of this.

This is good but not that clever. He gave the wrong number - it should have been 0800 800152 0800 800152 which takes you through to BT Business. The cutting off of the line is very simple , he stays on the line with the mute button on and you can't dial out - but he can hear you trying. (This is because the person who initiates a call is the one to terminate it). When you stop trying he cuts off and immediately calls back. You could almost be convinced! The sad thing is that it is so simple that it will certainly fool the elderly and vulnerable. Obviously, if this scam is real, once they have your credit/debit card details, there is nothing to stop them cleaning out your account.]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13179 Tue, 13 Jul 2010 15:04:45 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13179
Vel Satis's are awesome - the seats are like armchairs....which is great because you spend a lot of time sat in them waiting for the AA.


(Speaking as a former Renault service advisor: seriously, just don't).]]>
Vel Satis's are awesome - the seats are like armchairs....which is great because you spend a lot of time sat in them waiting for the AA.


(Speaking as a former Renault service advisor: seriously, just don't).]]> http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13178 Fri, 09 Jul 2010 14:21:43 -0600 http://www.loosechat.net/forums/showthread.php?tid=13178 Driving home at 5 this evening, back after a long, sweaty coach trip to London....and a white van came out of a side street and almost totalled my car (I'm not hurt by the way) He pushed me into the path of the oncoming traffic which braked and I swerved to avoid, then I mounted the pavement. No one was hurt at all, well, I'm starting to ache a bit, but the barsteward tried to say it was my fault. Thankfully, 3 witnesses saw the whole thing and we called the police. Long story short, I lost my temper and slapped him on the face...hard, right in front of a policeman I've got all the details I need, his van's a right off and he's only had it 10 days....tough. I had to wait 2 hours for breakdown to come and collect me and the car. I was in town thankfully, and I'm with the RAC. I'm angry, shocked and a bit shaken....and I'm glad I slapped him so there]]> Driving home at 5 this evening, back after a long, sweaty coach trip to London....and a white van came out of a side street and almost totalled my car (I'm not hurt by the way) He pushed me into the path of the oncoming traffic which braked and I swerved to avoid, then I mounted the pavement. No one was hurt at all, well, I'm starting to ache a bit, but the barsteward tried to say it was my fault. Thankfully, 3 witnesses saw the whole thing and we called the police. Long story short, I lost my temper and slapped him on the face...hard, right in front of a policeman I've got all the details I need, his van's a right off and he's only had it 10 days....tough. I had to wait 2 hours for breakdown to come and collect me and the car. I was in town thankfully, and I'm with the RAC. I'm angry, shocked and a bit shaken....and I'm glad I slapped him so there]]>